we went on a BEACHVENTUR
May. 18th, 2010 05:03 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
sisalikor, Thirty Things I Learned On ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
bleukarma's Summer Vacation
By Indi (Age Ten)
1. If I were a Ghostbuster, I would be Ray.
2. Fish pee in the ocean. So do toddlers.
3. I am not allowed to call someone else weird when I am lying in bed with a saline-filled shot glass inverted over my navel.
4. SPF 100 sunscreen goes on like Elmer's glue, but by Jove, it keeps my pallor intact.
5. Someone else needs to make sure Bleu put sunscreen on her back.
6. When you find a pretty shell, make sure there isn't something dead inside it.
7. When there is something dead inside a pretty shell, do not show it off and make oogy noises. Or smell it.
8. Narnia does not accept key cards.
9. The best way to dig a hole in sand is with an enormous drill bit stuck to a leaf blower.
10. You're not going to read when you're on a deck chair under an umbrella next to the Gulf with a good breeze. Forget it. You're just going to veg out and watch the scenery.
11. It's really funny when people try to make a dramatic entrance with a motorboat or jetski by beaching it, because when it is time to go they will sink to the knees in wet sand trying to shove it back into the water.
12. If you walk down the strip on a Friday night in a red sundress and combat boots, people driving by will honk at you.
13. The one time you expect to get hit in the head by a football, you won't be.
14. The one time you're not expecting a gate to smash your foot, it will.
15. I smell everything. This is funny.
16. When someone is sunburnt badly, you can tell because when you press a finger into the affected skin, the paleness caused by blood flow being temporarily interrupted is not visible under the burn.
17. A true friend will let you poke them in the name of science.
18. There is such a thing as too much double-chocolate cake.
19. When you get divebombed by a small but determined dragonfly and run back inside, you will not be consoled; instead, you will be yelled at for NOT SHUTTING THE DOOR BECAUSE WHAT IF IT COMES AFTER YOU?
20. There is a big red pirate ship. This is funny.
21. There is a small tugboat called the LITTLE TOOT. This is funnier. Also, it toots.
22. Inflatable rafts cannot move at speed on their own in the water. Unmanned jetskis cannot move at speed in reverse on dry sand. There is a logical explanation, and you just can't see it because someone or something is in the way.
23. It is impossible to fingerprint a person whose fingers have been amputated. Instead they just write AMP on the form.
24. I am a blanket-burrito champion.
25. Don't let your friends swim out to where the wild dolphins are.
26. It is best to keep the Doctor Who jokes about "Moisturize me!" to yourself if nobody else knows what you are talking about.
27. A childhood of severe sunburns has made me the best aloe-putting-on person in the whole world, because I rub it over my hands to warm it and then warn the aloe-ee when I am about to make contact.
28. I will never not be nervous when I watch people pick through beach rocks on sand. That's how my mother shattered her ankle, and to this day I cringe and tense up when I see people do that.
29. It's kind of entertaining to be surrounded by a bunch of travel-grouchy Texans who came to town for a wedding.
30. It's fun to taunt the spirits of dead ancestors by wading in thigh-deep water while holding a seventy-year-old German camera.
bleukarma's Summer VacationBy Indi (Age Ten)
1. If I were a Ghostbuster, I would be Ray.
2. Fish pee in the ocean. So do toddlers.
3. I am not allowed to call someone else weird when I am lying in bed with a saline-filled shot glass inverted over my navel.
4. SPF 100 sunscreen goes on like Elmer's glue, but by Jove, it keeps my pallor intact.
5. Someone else needs to make sure Bleu put sunscreen on her back.
6. When you find a pretty shell, make sure there isn't something dead inside it.
7. When there is something dead inside a pretty shell, do not show it off and make oogy noises. Or smell it.
8. Narnia does not accept key cards.
9. The best way to dig a hole in sand is with an enormous drill bit stuck to a leaf blower.
10. You're not going to read when you're on a deck chair under an umbrella next to the Gulf with a good breeze. Forget it. You're just going to veg out and watch the scenery.
11. It's really funny when people try to make a dramatic entrance with a motorboat or jetski by beaching it, because when it is time to go they will sink to the knees in wet sand trying to shove it back into the water.
12. If you walk down the strip on a Friday night in a red sundress and combat boots, people driving by will honk at you.
13. The one time you expect to get hit in the head by a football, you won't be.
14. The one time you're not expecting a gate to smash your foot, it will.
15. I smell everything. This is funny.
16. When someone is sunburnt badly, you can tell because when you press a finger into the affected skin, the paleness caused by blood flow being temporarily interrupted is not visible under the burn.
17. A true friend will let you poke them in the name of science.
18. There is such a thing as too much double-chocolate cake.
19. When you get divebombed by a small but determined dragonfly and run back inside, you will not be consoled; instead, you will be yelled at for NOT SHUTTING THE DOOR BECAUSE WHAT IF IT COMES AFTER YOU?
20. There is a big red pirate ship. This is funny.
21. There is a small tugboat called the LITTLE TOOT. This is funnier. Also, it toots.
22. Inflatable rafts cannot move at speed on their own in the water. Unmanned jetskis cannot move at speed in reverse on dry sand. There is a logical explanation, and you just can't see it because someone or something is in the way.
23. It is impossible to fingerprint a person whose fingers have been amputated. Instead they just write AMP on the form.
24. I am a blanket-burrito champion.
25. Don't let your friends swim out to where the wild dolphins are.
26. It is best to keep the Doctor Who jokes about "Moisturize me!" to yourself if nobody else knows what you are talking about.
27. A childhood of severe sunburns has made me the best aloe-putting-on person in the whole world, because I rub it over my hands to warm it and then warn the aloe-ee when I am about to make contact.
28. I will never not be nervous when I watch people pick through beach rocks on sand. That's how my mother shattered her ankle, and to this day I cringe and tense up when I see people do that.
29. It's kind of entertaining to be surrounded by a bunch of travel-grouchy Texans who came to town for a wedding.
30. It's fun to taunt the spirits of dead ancestors by wading in thigh-deep water while holding a seventy-year-old German camera.
