oddments from today

bleukarma totally made my day by telling me that they're throwing Jeopardy auditions and I am, according to her, "smart enough to get on and win!!!!!!!!!" The problem I'd have with that show is it tends to avoid fun stuff I know like Sex Lives Of Stone Age Europeans (thanks, Simon) in favor of categories like All Things Nebraska. And there I'd be lost, except for the one answer that would go "Who is Bruce Springsteen." I would definitely be able to tell them who's responsible for the exclamation-point shortage, though.

--

oregoonie, meanwhile, is recovering from some form of ebola (not Seabola, they don't have those there) but, miraculously, STILL ARRIVING ON SATURDAY. I have to find out whether or not she's still contagious before I decide if I'm going to meet her at the airport. Cos, Goonie, I know you're entertained when bodies violently eject stuff (stuff that isn't babies anyway), but me? Not so much. She's also got me explaining everything I know about airplanes, because that's how I beat my fear of them. WITH SCIENCE. I figured, if I knew what all the noises were and what's normal on a plane I wouldn't be bothered by it. It worked, bafflingly enough. You can't take the sky from meeee....

--

Dave called me, very excited, to tell me he had a present for me. And then he had to tell me what it was and read from it to me RIGHT THAT MOMENT because it was funny. (Also because the Sidney Crosby Show had come to town and it was crap for us.) He has a wacko fundie co-worker, Baptist by flavor, who had brought in or left behind (har) a science magazine, for creationists and by creationists. "It's not trying to convince anybody of anything," is how he put it. "It's for the people who already believe this crap." So he turns to the page where there's a drawing of the solar system, and he explains to me that there's one thing they said about every planet that wasn't Earth. "Like here. Mercury. Boiling hot on this side, frozen solid on that side. God did not create Mercury to support life. Mars. God did not create Mars to support life. Jupiter. Saturn. Uranus. Heh, Uranus. Neptune. God did not create Neptune to support life. IT SAYS THAT ON ALL OF THEM. And then where they describe Earth? God did create Earth to support life." So he has a nice present for me. I will scan it so we all can have a good laugh. We need one.

--

While trying to remember which storefront across from The Other Thai Place (not as good as The Thai Place, I think) had once sold porn:

Indi: "I don't understand the not breathing part."
grahamux: "I don't understand any of it!"
Indi: "Some people juggle geese!"

Graham, by the way, the incense they had there? Morning Star. Had to be that stuff. With the little tile!
--

Now I have to wash my dog. Yes, at three in the morning. Her fleas are trying to create organized religion and we won't have that. They call me Shiva, destroyer of worlds.