Fun Things To Do With Hurricanes

1. Get some soap and a sponge. Wash your car.
2. Stand on your roof and open a parachute strapped to your body.
3. Interstate Slip-N-Slide.
4. Attach waterskis to your feet, tie a handle to someone's car, go on a supply run.
5. Vodka sterilizes everything. Cuts, scrapes, worries...
6. Wakeboarding in major intersections.
7. Look out the window and play cow bingo.
8. Treasure-diving in your pool. Or someone else's.
9. Pleasure cruises in a VW Bug.
10. Take a shot every time a newscaster says "hunker down" "ride it out" or "set in stone."
11. Make windchimes out of lawn chairs and grills, record them, turn the noise into a revolutionary new form of music.
12. Build a mudman on the roof. Name it after the hurricane. If female, give it breasts made of empty water bottles.
13. Synchronized sandbag-tossing.
14. Take bets on how long the mailbox - or its post - will stay put.
15. Live through it and beat the hell out of anyone else's natural disaster story.

Good luck, everyone. Stay safe.

swollen

Today is a day of Vicodin and Stargate DVDs and occasionally checking the hurricane maps.

St. Katie and I decided that Broca Divide is the ultimate Stargate episode, since it has: Daniel helplessly explaining things, Jack and Daniel's bickering, Danny Whumping, Jack and Sam's unresolved sexual tension, Doc Frasier sticking lots of needles in everyone, friendly but clueless aliens, Teal'c not getting a pop culture reference, and a happy ending punctuated with Jack snark.

Storm should be north enough that it won't whack us directly. Not that there's a lot I can do right now. Ouch. Internal organs ain't no good.